Consideration

There are a lot of ways we can make the world a better place. I vote we get rid of machinated idiosyncrasies. I'd be much less pissed off on a daily basis if machines were designed intelligently; like if we got rid of the traffic light in the intersection ahead of the one I'm stopped at, turning green when there's not a fucking car on the road. All the cars that could have possibly utilized the green light were one red light away, sitting on our dumb asses and watching it turn red the second our light goes green.

What the fuck.

I've got a personal pen and paper journal now, to record my thoughts more immediately. I will wash them and post them here, shinier and more awesome than they ever were before.

Now I get mad. You may stop reading here if you wish; I would.

Why does everything I care about fall apart? Dreams, love, projects,everything. The second I attach to something, I'm fucked. Something always goes wrong. Why do I fall in love with every woman that shows me the least bit of attention? Why do I always careen my love truck into an elevated highway embankment? Seriously, what the fuck? I want to just disconnect from everyone, to care about no one, just to save the aggravation. But I can't do that. I believe that following my nature is the key to happiness, but if that's true, why am I so goddamn lonely?

Perhaps unhappiness is my nature. I'm a rather dreary person. I like rainy days more than clear ones, cold more than warm, Autumn is my favorite month, and I love sad music. Perhaps my nature is that of the lonely and morose. I just wish I could accept that, or if something could happen that would make be able to deal with myself. I'm just wondering when my ship will come in.